And Sorrow Found Him
by H50Gal
Summary: An explosion leaves Danny all alone with the emotions that threaten to swallow him. One shot.


Just a quick one shot that trailed through my head one afternoon and refused to leave until I explored the emotions that arrive after the numb goes away…

I do not own Hawaii Five-0… should that status change I'll let you know ;)

Oh, and spoiler: Not a deathfic… never a deathfic!

NO BETA... ALL MISTAKES ARE THEREFORE MINE :)

*****H50*****

The first time Danny could remember having the wind knocked out of him was at age six when he had fallen out of the tree in his neighbour's yard. He had thought he was going to die as he struggled to pull the air back into his lungs. He'd never climbed that tree again. There had been other times, other trees, but that particular tree became off limits in his mind.

Since then he had been rendered breathless by everything from a solid punch in the gut to the time he had fallen backwards out that low window shortly after meeting McGarrett… and getting shot. Some days he had wondering if those two didn't just go hand in hand.

This time was different though. This time there was no physical force that squeezed his lungs free of their important contents. He had gone from just another day and another case in the sweltering Hawaiian heat to numb in a matter of moments as realization of exactly what had just transpired overtook him.

An invisible fist slammed into his gut making him instantly and physically ill. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't… feel.

-_Minutes Earlier-_

"Book 'em, Danno!" Steve had roughly shoved their recently acquired murderer toward him with a satisfied grin on his lips and a smirk in his eyes as he used the phrase that always gave him the rise he expected out of Danny.

Danny had obliged with a roll of his eyes and an over-exaggerated sigh. "March, Greene," he put a hand over the zip-tied fists of their perp and guided him from the rear. They went up the stairs and out onto the deck of the moored boat where they had followed and easily apprehended Greene.

"You didn't even give my Neanderthal partner the fire fight he was looking forward to." Danny chuckled but then frowned as Greene picked up the pace as they reached the dock. "You in a hurry to pick out a cell or something?" Danny jerked his charge back into a normal pace. "I hear they all look about the same. Of course your roomies change slightly from cell to cell, but I'm sure you'll do fine." He mockingly patted Greene's shoulder.

Danny manoeuvred Greene into the backseat of his Camaro then leaned his passenger seat back upright and closed the door. He wanted to go back and help the others finish what was needed but he knew that he had a job to do: Book 'em.

That was when it happened. His world literally exploded in front of him. Everything good in his life outside his daughter ripped away as Greene's boat exploded into a flaming ball of heat. Debris launched into the air and spun dangerously in every direction.

Danny just stood there momentarily unable to process what had just happened. Pieces of the boat littered the ground around him. A shard of something had torn a jagged crease in his arm, but the numbness he felt overtook the pain.

There were people screaming and running around but all Danny could hear was his own heartbeat thundering in his ears. All he could see was a smouldering haul where his family was supposed to be. His legs seemed unequal to the job of holding him up and he slid down the passenger door of the Camaro until he was on the ground.

His own vision danced before he regained the ability to breathe_. Breathe. _How could he be breathing at a time like this? When the others weren't. How was he supposed to feel now that everything was gone? He still couldn't feel anything.

This all had transpired in a matter of moments but Danny already felt as if he had been alone sitting there numbly watching the ashes twirl in the wind for hours. And that's when the first feeling crept into his being. Alone. It surprised him somewhere in his mind that it wasn't the pain or anger of having his life and family destroyed so violently and suddenly that reached his senses first, but rather the feeling of loneliness taking up his heart in her chilly fingers and tightening her hands just enough to bring physical pain.

"Gone," the single word startled him and he turned his head to see who had said it only to realize that no one was near him. Had he said it? He must have. How many times had he used that word before without realizing the power that one little word held? Gone.

"Steve," he pushed himself to his feet and swayed for an instant. He had to find his partner. He was supposed to have his back. Would there even be anything left to burry? The overwhelming feeling that rushed into his presence was panic followed closely by sick. He felt sick. He was going to be sick.

Sirens were getting closer by the second. Soon the marina would be flooded by emergency vehicles, flashing lights, and well meaning people who just couldn't understand what Danny was feeling. How could anyone understand?

Another feeling reared its ugly head: Fear. Danny wanted to run and hide. He couldn't be here. He couldn't handle it. He needed to be… anywhere else. The worst part was as each new feeling made its presence known the others didn't lessen. If anything they intensified. The loneliness threatened to crush his heart, the panic rode on the back of fear, and the sick feeling twisted his stomach harshly.

"Hey, Detective," the voice was muffled from the inside of the car. "We going or what?" Greene smirked at the distraught man.

Danny looked through the window into the backseat of his car. Anger arrived.

"You're supposed to be booking me_… Danno_," Greene sneered.

Hatred shoved his way into the crowded room of emotions. "I'm going to kill you, Greene." Danny's face relaxed into an eerie calm and Greene knew he was in trouble.

"Careful now," Greene swallowed and squirmed as Danny jerked open the door, "You're a cop…"

"Nope," Danny leaned the seat forward and Greene scrambled to the other side of the bench. "I'm Five-0. And as my final act with immunity and means, I _am_ going to kill you."

"Danno!" And Sorrow found him, reaching him at last and enveloping him in her arms. He could hear Steve clear as day shouting in his head. His dead partner was going to haunt him.

Danny had his gun in his hand. He couldn't remember drawing it, but it was there and it was ready. "I'm sorry, Steve," Danny whispered.

"Danno! Hey, Williams!" Danny opened his eyes. Confusion laughed through his brain.

"Danny!" It was Kono's voice.

The gun slipped back into its place and Danny braced himself on the hood of his car. Should he turn around? Could they possibly be alive? He was going mad. That had to be the explanation. He couldn't turn around. He couldn't face disappointment. He had no room left for an emotion as large as that one. He'd snap for sure.

"Danny?" a hand touched his shoulder. "Danny?"

"Steve?" Danny screwed his eyes shut and ground his teeth as he waited for the confirmation.

"I'm right here, partner." Steve spoke gently feeling the trembles that passed under his hand. He could only imagine what Danny had thought seeing the boat blow like that.

Danny rested his forehead on the frame of his car. Tears leaked out of his shut eyes, "Kono and Chin?"

"Soggy but fine," Chin's soft voice sounded close.

"We saw the charges and the timer and didn't stick around for the party," Kono tried to sound light.

"Dove down as it went up." Steve squeezed the shoulder under his hands. "We're pretty much unscathed."

Danny turned around slowly to see for himself. They all smiled at him and pretended not to notice the tears streaming down his face.

"How are _you_ feeling, Danno?" Steve had yet to let go of Danny's shoulder.

"Lucky," Danny breathed.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading. I appreciate all reviews/comments/criticisms. I'm still new to all of this and pointers are accepted with appreciation.


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